Listen to be Heard

One of the hardest things in communication is trying to get others to hear what is being said. So we work on our skills to be engaging, coherent, clear, meaningful. While useful, this is invariably a compromised approach in being convincing, compelling or persuasive.

To be convincing, compelling or persuasive, you need others to hear you generously. To be heard or listened to generously, you need to first listen to others generously. You need to demonstrate clearly that you have understood what the other is truly saying, valuing and wanting you to hear. It requires you to read/listen between the lines, between the words, within the pause. It requires you to pick up on the tension and the intension behind what is being said. It requires you to truly put your own suppositions, preconceived notions, biases, agendas to the side. It requires you to demonstrate a high degree of desire to understand with intent to create mutually beneficial value. It requires you to be truly of an open mind and, most importantly, be curious.

“To be heard, first be willing to hear. To be listened to, first be willing to demonstrate you are listening.”